His black and grey stripped
college sweater gave him a youthful look. His neat shaved hair and beard gives
one the impression that Mark is particular about his grooming. The soft spoken
young man is the elephant in the room as the members of the workshop do not
know him and neither is he being introduced.
“Hello, I am Mark I am gay, an MSM and a LGBTI activist…” he said
adjusting the microphone to ensure that what he said was clear for all. Heads
turned, few jaws (especially from the ladies) dropped and more people listened
to the revelation.
“Well for those who do not know
LGBTI means Lesbians Gay Bisexual Transsexual Intersexual and for MSM means Men
having Sex with men.” He concluded and took a deep breath.
One could sense the change of
atmosphere in the room. Eyes roved around the room as if to search for certain
answers. The young man in front of the dais had said it, without fear of
criticism, that he was gay. Unlike common misconceptions in the society, Mark
did not have a third leg or spikes all over his face. He was a ‘kawaida’ guy
who unless he told you his sexual orientation you would never have guessed
otherwise.
Mark continued “I had been in the
closet for a while about my sexuality. I knew I was gay during my adolescent,
actually when I was 14. My mum particularly was suspicious of me but she
couldn’t a certain. However, early this year she confronted me about it.”
From how Mark was talking, it was
clear that he was addressing an issue that many shun from talking about.
Homosexuality is a topic most if not all parents want to talk about. Here is a
young man, who the society views as odd, a misfit and weird. Interestingly,
Mark is quick to point out that he is as normal as everyone what sets him apart
is his choice of sexual orientation and matters pertaining to sex. Otherwise,
he should not be discriminated or/and stigmatized for being gay and
particularly in opportunities such as acquiring a job and the likes.
He proceeds to add that in this
age of HIV and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI), they take precaution. Considering
the high rates of HIV and STI infections through anal sex, Mark and his partner
use water based lubricants and Latex condoms. However, there are instances that
he gets an STI and when he seeks medical attention his case attracts
unnecessary intrusion from the nurses who want to know how a man got throat gonorrhoea.
Mark is questioned whether being
gay is a behaviour or practices of the wealthy in society, he states:
“Homosexuality is not a rich man
status, neither is it a poor man’s as well. Anyone can be gay…actually, gay
people can tell someone who is gay from a crowd. We have some sort of
connection…so it not a particular group only”.
Despite his composure, he has several
fears. To begin with, he is wary of how his dad will take it when he discovered
he is gay considering he is his sole provider and the one paying his university
fees. His mother on the other hand does not like to accept his sexual
orientation, in fact once she tried to take him to psychiatrist. In addition he
dreads upon being known to be gay and consequently being disowned by his
family. His bag of fears are not yet over has he is afraid of losing more
friends after knowing his sexuality. Furthermore, homophobia in Kenya is at an
all time high. Members of LGBTI are always under the fear of a homophobic
attack as witnessed in South Africa and Uganda.
His hope is that the society
would first try to understand the LGBTI community before holding prejudices
against them.
“Many view us as queer, as
immoral…I hope they know and understand us, me first without passing judgment”
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